Friday, June 8, 2007
Five Shocking Stats About Men and Sex
Here are the real numbers in five areas of male sexual health.
By:Jay Dixit
Sex researchers are peculiar beasts. Armed with their tape measures, clipboards, surveys, and hidden cameras, they seek to provide a peephole from which to scrutinize that most private of spheres, human sexuality. What's most surprising is that we let them in—we're more than happy to unzip our pants and bare our private lives. Why do we do it? Maybe it's precisely because sex is so private that we're compelled to share. We know that without sex researchers to disseminate data about our sex lives, we'd be forced to rely upon furtive glances in the men's room, never sure of what to add or subtract to account for the angle; upon locker room stories, never sure how many grains of skeptical salt to apply; upon porn that only leaves us feeling depressed about ourselves. So cheer up, because most of what you think you know is probably wrong. Today, sex researchers step out from behind the curtain and share the real numbers on five areas of men's sexual health. The answers may surprise you.
Sex on the Brain
The idea that men think about sex every seven seconds, like the claim that we only use 10 percent of our brains, is often repeated but rarely sourced. The number doesn't bear up against scrutiny. According to the Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male), 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week or a few times a month, and 4 percent less than once a month. Even though the Kinsey Report relies on men to self-report on how often they think about sex, it's still eye opening to find that just under half of men aren't even thinking about sex once a day. Clearly, the seven-second rule may be a tad hyperbolic.
Not Tonight, Honey
The stereotype about the sex-starved man and the disinterested woman may be more than just a cliche. As it turns out, the instant a woman enters a secure relationship, her sex drive begins to plummet. Four years in, a German study found, fewer than half of women wanted regular sex. And after 20 years, only 20 percent did.
Among men, libido held steady no matter how long they'd been in the relationship. Researchers provide an evolutionary explanation—women's sex drive is initially high to facilitate pair bonding. Meanwhile, desire for tenderness showed the opposite trend. Ninety percent of women craved tenderness, but of men who'd been in relationships for ten years, only 25 percent said they hoped for the same from their partner.
Measuring Up
For as long as there's been such thing as a ruler, men have been putting wood to, um, wood and wondering how they measure up. "There's nothing wrong with you. You look at yourself from above and you look foreshortened," Hemingway reassured a panicking F. Scott Fizgerald. "It is basically not a question of the size in repose. It is the size that it becomes. It is also a question of angle."
The trouble is that most of the actual surveys of penis size are unscientific and unreliable. The Kinsey survey relied on men to report their own numbers honestly and accurately—never a good idea. (Curiously, that survey found that gay men reported having longer penises than straight men—a finding never since replicated.)
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10 Random and Obscure Facts: Pirate Edition
1) Although Hollywood pirates, such as Jack Sparrow’s friends, like to grumble “arrr” or “arrrrgh" frequently, real pirates were not known to do so. Hollywood actor Robert Newton, who played Long John Silver in the 1950s had a regional accent from the Cotswolds district of southwest England where they like to roll the "r" a bit. However, your average real pirate did not exaggeratedly roll their “r” like the fictional ones do.
2) Pirates may have thrown men overboard, but no one was ever known to have “walked the plank”. Again, this one is a Hollywood myth.
3) Pirates were known for chasing after busty wenches in Caribbean ports. At least that tale is true! The belief that pirates often dressed in loose clothing, guzzled rum and then smashed the empty bottles is also fairly accurate. However, there were a few “gentlemen” pirates who were above such rude behavior, or at least they were a little more discreet in their rum drinking and wench chasing.
4) Lady Ching Shih, once a prostitute, became one of the most powerful pirates to have ever sailed the ocean blue. She commanded one of the most formidable pirate fleets in all of China during the early 1800s, with hundreds of ships under her command.
5) Pirates pierced their ears, not to look suave, but because it was believed that piercing the ears with such precious metals as silver and gold, improved one's eyesight. Even relatively respectable sea faring men indulged in the practice.
6) “Davy Jones' Locker” is real nautical term that dates back to the 1700s. Davy Jones was sailor slang for the Devil. To send someone to Davy Jones meant killing the individual. Being “sent to Davy Jones Locker” implied that you were not going to heaven.
7) As early as 1611 there are written accounts describing a person who brings bad luck to a ship as a “Jonah”. If a man was marked as a Jonah, he was doomed to be thrown overboard. If the trouble persisted, the pirates suspected they’d thrown the wrong man overboard and would sometimes toss the original accuser overboard to appease the ghost of the innocent man!
8) Every pirate ship had it’s own Code of Conduct specified by the pirate captain. While stealing was the pirate’s job, stealing amongst shipmates was severely punished. Some boats had a “zero tolerance” policy for internal theft that left you dead or marooned if caught.
9) No one has actually ever found a real pirate’s buried treasure map. Never too far from death, most pirates tried to enjoy their money quickly. At any rate, there aren’t any maps around today, unless some are still cleverly hidden.
10) Throughout history some women have always preferred knives to knitting needles. Anne Bonny went from a privileged daughter of a rich plantation owner to a ruthless pirate. Not wanting to live the “subservient” life expected by women during her day, Anne won over the respect of her pirate crewmembers with her murderous and capable ways. She eventually became best friends with another fierce female pirate, Mary Read.
Read more about the unusually exciting life of Anne Bonny here: http://www.piratesinfo.com/biography/biography.php?article_id=26
Kids Need To Learn, Don't They?
B-Tales Episode 7
Fled and Rita walked toward Rick's porch holding hands.
"Rick," she yelled, from the edge of Rick's lawn. He was at his door, about to go inside, when he heard, "don't shut that." Rita broke from Fled and sprinted to the door.
"Hey, what's up?" Rick smiled.
"We need you to come to the meeting tonight," Rita said. "The one I told you about." Fled caught up, winded, and stood behind her.
"Meeting?"
"Town Council. They're voting on the school bond. We need your support."
Rick said, "I told you, Rita. I don't follow the issues. And I have to say, without knowing the details . . . "
"Rick, you don't know shit . . . "
" . . . spending 80 million dollars for a small extension on the middle school, and a brick inlayed parking lot, seems high."
"The kids need to learn, Rick. Don't you think the kids should learn?"
"I don't have kids, Rita. Remember? But yes, generally speaking, I would say . . ."
"And do you think they should be stuffed into tiny overcrowded classrooms like vermin, like rats in a shoe box . . ."
"From what I hear, there are 18, 20 kids in a class. When I was a kid, we had 32 . . . "
"Nobody gives a shit when you were in school . . ."
Fled put his hand gently on Rita's shoulder. She shot around, a rocket, and his hand dropped off instantly. Rita turned back to Rick with a wide smile.
"So, honey, we'll see you at eight. Right?"
"Yea," Rick said. "Eight."
"Give my best to Jenna," Rita said, as she and Fled turned around. "We're looking forward to getting together again. A barbecue. When she gets back from her business trip."
Rick nodded, and watched Rita and Fled's two kids on bicycles, one with training wheels, crash into the curb simultaneously and, simultaneously, start screaming at each other.
http://www.burbia.com/node/1096
Dermatologist Recommends Patient Install Dimmer Lights
By Lee Camp
AUGUSTA, ME - Dr. Matthew Berry, 58, prescribed dimmer lights for Taylor Murphy, 22, when Murphy saw the dermatologist Monday. The young man was hoping the doctor might have some treatment options for his severe acne, but the doctor merely said, "Dimmer lights," and handed Murphy some trial-size 40 watt bulbs for his apartment.
Murphy said later, "I told him that dimmer lights wasn't enough and that I wanted my skin to clear up so that more women would be willing to date me. Dr. Berry only answered 'Blind chicks!' and then walked away."
http://www.bigfib.com/issue83/world5-en.html
